Until Forever
by Akaylaa
Summary: He left. He knew it might stick around in his brain, but he didn't think that it would PHYSICALLY follow him back. And now they needed him back, back in that damn war, the chaos... and it was only a matter of time before they realized he had more to fight than just power hungry aliens. But who knows? Maybe Lance could win more than just one war. (Trigger warnings in first chapter.)
1. Hasta Siempre

Hey y'all. Ha, it's been so long since I used ! I'm crossposting this story on AO3, and I'll be working to put in all the chapters soon. Okay, so, this story is heavy- it's got a lot of things that have affected my life, and this is me turning it into something productive! lol. So, trigger warnings... there are a lot. I'll give them all here, up front, and on each chapter, I'll put another warning, and I'll put a summary of the chapter at the bottom... but, if you are very badly triggered by some of these, please think before you read, because I don't want anyone to be triggered by them if they feel they can't handle it (I understand that feeling very well). Alright, so, these are the warnings:

Alcohol abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced drug abuse, Implied/Referenced suicide attempt, Self-harm, Depression/Mental health issues, Addiction

This is not a story condoning any of these things, haha... it's more a story getting into them, though, but I don't want to spoil anything.

(Also, I haven't watched all of season 8 yet, so no spoilers! Haha, thanks!)

Alright- I hope you guys enjoy! Love you all.

* * *

" _Hey, Coran... what are Earth's coordinates?"  
_

 _"Well, now, that question is more complex than simply a set of coordinates-"  
_

 _"As seen from the centre of the Milky Way galaxy... does that help at all?"  
_

 _"Ah. Well, we can merely enter in the information we need into the coordinate tracker, and... ah, there we are! Latitude +0° 2′ 46.2″, longitude 179° 56′ 39.4″."  
_

 _"...Sweet. Thanks, Coran."  
_

 _"Any time, my boy... I do have to ask, though, it's quite a strange question. Any particular reason you asked?"  
_

 _"Ah, think of it as just helping my homesickness."  
_

 _"Oh. Well, I can see where knowing where home was-well, is, in your case-would help, yes."_

The long, slender fingers brushed the console of the escape pod, leaving trails through the thin layer of dust that had collected on the metal surface. The owner of said fingers smiled, one corner of his lips curving upwards in an expression that was more bittersweet that anything.

"...I think... it may be time to put you to use, girl." He murmured to the ship, even if it wasn't sentient, like the other two ships he had flown.

That was before, though... this was now.

His footsteps echoed in the hangar, the only sound in the enormous ship, save for the quiet hum of machinery and the occasional clicking or beeping from a camera placed here, or a computer that someone forgot to power down when they stopped using it.

The escape pod door slid shut easily. After the two Alteans had awoken, they had done everything they could to get the Castleship back up and running smoothly, that included repairing and updating the pods... not that they had used them many times, not in the grand scheme of things, they had their Lions, and Coran could usually hold his own in the Castleship.

Thankfully, one of the pods would be put to good use.

The young man left the hangar and proceeded back to his room, keeping his steps as light as possible, not wanting to wake any of the light sleepers. He reached into his pocket and drew out a small, faded photo. The edges were curled and worn, but the smile that his mother and his father bore brightened the photo enough to make it seem like it was brand new... even if it was four years old.

His own smile faded from his face, and he slowed to a stop outside his room's door. Four years... would they remember him? Did they think he was dead? Probably. He had quite literally disappeared off the face of the Earth, how could they hold any hope in his existence?

Well... he'd find out soon enough.

"Lance."

The young man's head snapped up, looking straight ahead of him. He forced a small smile. "...Coran... I didn't even hear you. What's up? Why are you still awake?" He asked, his voice a little rough from under-use.

Lance saw his own sadness reflected in Coran's half hearted smile. The red-headed man walked forward and placed his hand on Lance's shoulder. "Different sleep patterns... besides," Coran held up a small bag, just big enough to fit in Lance's jacket's inside pocket. "-you'll be needing provisions, won't you?" He said quietly.

Oh shit.

He'd promised himself he wouldn't cry about this, he'd already cried enough over the past year, and yet here he was, his eyes stinging yet again as he allowed himself a watery chuckle. He wiped at his eyes with his palms, then reached out, pulling the older being into a hug. "What would I do without you, Coran?" He sighed, curling his fingers into the back of Coran's shirt.

Coran laughed quietly and patted Lance's back. "Let's not think about that, yes?" He teased. They stood there for another moment, before they pulled apart. Coran's own eyes were a little glassy, reflecting the dim, blue light from above as he smiled at the young man in front of him. "Lance... I had two boys on Altea... I've told you this before, of course, but..." He shook his head. "Reylif... he was just like you... he was caring and kind, and generous to a fault..." He took in a deep breath. "...and it hurt to lose him the way I did, but I won't lose you the same way... you really are like a son to me, Lance, and as much as I'm going to miss you-" He stopped, taking a deep breath and closing his eyes as his voice broke. "-I'd rather not see you and know you're alive and happy than see you... see you dead because you lost your will to live, like Reylif." He finished, opening his eyes again in time to see the tears fall from Lance's blue eyes.

Lance shook his head and sniffed. " _Ay, Dios mío_ , Coran, I'm gonna miss you..." He paused, then tucked the small bag into his pocket, before he reached into his jean's pocket. "I-uh... I know that you're probably not gonna have any time to make it all the way out there, not with this war going on, but here-" He pressed a small piece of paper into Coran's calloused palm. "-this is my country's coordinates... my address-my home, I mean, is there too, but I'm not sure if they're still there... but I'll be in that country for sure, if I'm anywhere on Earth." He smiled.

Coran bit his lip and curled his fingers protectively around the piece of paper, before he tucked it into his breast pocket and buttoned the pocket shut. "I'll keep it right here in the front of my mind, Lance." He said, tapping his forehead. Lance laughed softly, and Coran's eyebrows tilted upwards sadly. "Do you... want me to tell the others where you are?" He asked hesitantly.

Lance's heart skipped a beat, and he hesitated, but he shook his head. "Nah... I... I'm not sure how much they care anymore, I mean... Keith's back in Red, Shiro in Black, and Allura in Blue... they don't need me anymore, and I'll just take up space... but, if they do..." His mind wandered to Hunk, and he smiled. "...they'd probably do something stupid. I'd rather they not know where I am and search for a little while than waste time coming to Earth and trying to convince me to come back." He reached out and grabbed Coran's hand. He raised his eyes to meet his, and he set his jaw. "...if I'm gonna head out, I'd best go now, or I'll never get my ass off this damn ship." He joked.

Coran's lip trembled slightly, but he rolled his eyes. "Then go, my boy... you know the way." he said knowingly, shaking Lance's hand.  
Lance drew his hand back to his side. He grinned a little, even as tears made their way down his cheeks. "Latitude +0° 2′ 46.2″, longitude 179° 56′ 39.4″, right?" he murmured. Coran nodded, a true smile beginning to show on his face. Lance bit the inside of his lip. "...Coran?" He started.

Coran swallowed. "Yes, my boy?"

Lance closed his eyes, not wanting to see the look on his face. "...you lost Reylif, but Reylif lost one hell of a dad... and I'm glad I got to find a father out here. I'm glad it was you." He choked out. He heard Coran hold back a sob, and he reached out blindly, finding Coran's hand again. "Thank you, Coran... for everything... I hope I get to see you again someday... preferably when this damn war is over." Lance managed to say.

"... Same to you, Lance... this team has lost an amazing member, and I'm sad to see you go, but-" Lance opened his eyes as Coran squeezed his hand. Coran smiled. " _Te deseo lo mejor._ " He spoke.

Lance laughed, louder than he would have liked, and he smiled widely, feeling happier than he had in a long time. He may have mangled the pronunciation of a word or two, but there was more meaning in that than anything anyone had said to him in years. The lump in Lance's throat grew as he tightened the grip on Coran's hand. He opened his mouth and almost whispered his next words.

" _Hasta siempre._ "

* * *

Note- _Hasta siempre_ is a farewell used by people who don't expect to see each other again, forever or for at least a _very_ long time.


	2. Dissipate

"For the last time, I'm fine!"

Keith blinked, a little taken aback by the harsh tone Allura had used when she snapped at him. She caught his surprised stare, and guilt flashed across her face. She took a deep breath and rolled her shoulders, pinching one of her tense muscles between her fingers. "...I'm sorry, Keith, everyone... I'm just..." She trailed off, then looked at her feet, dropping her hand to her side. "...never mind. It's nothing."

Keith stiffened a little. He knew that excuse all too well... he was about to say something, but their resident Yellow Paladin got there first.

"Allura, you know... you can talk to us if something's bothering you, you know that, right?" He asked, sounding a little unsure of himself.

Keith understood where his uncertainty was coming from. A few weeks ago, after the Black Lion had taken Shiro back, and Red had shut him out, only accepting Keith... Lance had started to withdraw from the team. They had tried talking to him, only to be assured that he was fine, that he was finally getting to enjoy some downtime... bullshit, of course, and everyone knew it, but... what were they supposed to do? He wouldn't let them in, even Hunk, he'd turned him away more than a few times... they hadn't seen Lance in about a week, but sometimes that would happen, and when it did, there was no helping it... when Lance didn't want to be found, you couldn't find him.

Keith was snapped back into reality when Allura's voice broke into his musings.

"Well, it's just that... Blue's been... oh, how do I say this...?" She paused, touching her lip gently with her slender finger, then tapping her chin thoughtfully. "...distant? With me? Three days ago, I felt-through our bond, of course- very angry, and scared. I don't know what happened, but ever since, she's been... short with me. If we communicate, it's the bare minimum, and nothing more." Allura shrugged as the other Paladins looked at each other in wonder. This didn't usually happen. "Perhaps... maybe it's not connected, but there was something strange I noticed; a few wires here and there were out of place, in the castle, and some of my life energy seemed to have disappeared the last time I checked. I'm wondering if there's some minor malfunction in the castle that Blue noticed, and she's mad that I haven't been keeping up." She reasoned, although she sounded uncertain with her explanation.

Pidge cocked an eyebrow. "That doesn't sound right. The Lions haven't really cared about what happens on the ship until now, if what you're saying is true." She said, crossing her arms.

Hunk frowned. "But, if the Lions noticed that something was wrong, like-like an-an energy leak or something, then they might be worried about lowered security, like... how much of a disaster would it be if the systems holding the hangar doors shut suddenly failed? The Lions could be lost in space, and we might not even noticed until we needed them!" He sounded more like he was trying to convince himself, because the last thing they needed to worry about was something they couldn't figure out.

There was a short silence, then Shiro sighed. "Well, whatever it is, I'm sure it's not going to be as bad as we think. I'll talk to Coran about checking up the castle's systems, and-"

"What are you going to be asking me about?"

The small group jumped a little, and their heads turned towards the bay doors, where Coran stood, an inquisitive look on his face.

Allura stepped forward, placing her helmet under her arm. "Just a bit worried about castle systems. You wouldn't happen to know if there was something wrong with anything, would you? The remaining life energy stored in the Castleship seemed to have disappeared last I checked... was something leaching from it, do you think?" Allura asked.

Coran raised his eyebrows and looked down. "...No, but that is worrisome, isn't it?" He frowned and looked back up again. "But, to my understanding, there was only a small amount left. I can't imagine it being vital to our worm-holing capabilities, or any other important functions." He said.

Keith frowned a little, seeing Coran looking a little paler than normal. He watched him closely as he continued to talk with Allura and Shiro, looking for other oddities. Other than the fact that he seemed a little less chipper than usual, and the occasional forced grin, nothing seemed out of the ordinary...

But Keith had learned that even a little bit "out of the ordinary" could mean that something was very wrong.

"-eith... Keith! Dude," Hunk's voice jolted him out of his mind again, and he blinked, looking up at the taller of the two. He and Pidge stood next to him, watching him with slight concern. "you up for some food? You look a little... lost." He finished after taking him in.

Keith's face heated up a little bit as his stomach growled, seemingly right on cue, and he reached out to gently slap a snickering Pidge upside her still-helmeted head.

"Y-yeah, fine, I guess..." He agreed, a bit embarrassed at apparently being hungry enough to completely zone out more than once. As they left the hangar, he shot Coran one more glance.

Whatever was up, he would get back to later, after he had gotten out of his armor and eaten something.

* * *

He didn't expect the red-headed man to startle so much at the question.

Or, maybe it wasn't so much the question, but the fact that Keith had not alerted the Altean to his presence beforehand.

Coran looked up from his place at one of the small control panels scattered throughout the Castleship, his eyes wide. "I-I'm sorry, Keith, could you repeat that, please?" He asked, turning back to the control panel. Keith noticed that he didn't go back to whatever he was working on before he had walked in.

Keith crossed his arms, trying to look slightly intimidating, but not exactly threatening. "I asked if you actually knew what happened to that life energy Allura was talking about before." He repeated, leaning "casually" against the door frame. He watched as Coran blinked. He waited patiently, and he felt a little apprehension when Coran sighed.

"...Keith, I do know where it went, but... it's really not my place to _say_ where it went, or how it was used." He murmured finally, sounding a little defeated.

Keith's eyes widened slightly, taking in the scene in front of him. Coran was leaning against the control panel, his arms tense, his head drooping a little. Keith didn't think he'd ever seen the man look so... so...

Defeated.

Keith took a few steps forward and, pausing hesitantly, placed a hand awkwardly on Coran's shoulder. He bit the inside of his lip, then tried to sound as calm as possible when he next spoke.

"Coran, it's... I think it's important to know what happened, even if it's, uh... 'not your place to say'. It could be serious. If it's something that could affect Voltron, or the Castleship for that matter, we need to know." Keith couldn't figure out why there was a sinking feeling in his chest, or why his heart had started to speed up, just enough for Keith to notice.

Coran took in a deep breath and straightened up. "It... it does not affect Voltron, or the Castleship. The amount of life energy left wasn't enough to provide sufficient aid in the castle defense or offense, and it wasn't nearly enough to wormhole the whole ship in case of an emergency... why, if it were to be used, it would barely be enough to wormhole a small ship!" His laugh was forced, but that wasn't what made Keith so uneasy.

No, what made Keith's heart seem to stutter to a stop was the gaze Coran locked onto him. His dark blue eyes were intense, as though trying desperately to convey something to Keith, but he couldn't see what. It was like Coran wanted him to know, even if he said it wasn't his place.

Keith's heart began to slow down a little from its rapid pace, and he nodded. He returned Coran's knowing stare and backed away. "Well, thanks for telling me that, anyway. I'll try to find out where the energy went, just out of, uh... curiosity. It's good to know that it won't affect Voltron though, or any of our assets." He said, not turning away just yet.

Coran watched him for a moment, then turned back to the control panel with a sigh. "Yes... yes, I'm glad as well." He murmured.

Keith frowned, seeing the older man slump into his defeated position again. Even if he wouldn't admit it, he was fond of the older Altean, finding him to be an interesting person beneath the horrible jokes and odd trivia, and he didn't like to see him acting so out of character. He knew what-or, who, really-could cheer him up, but he hadn't seen him in a while.

He shrugged to himself. 'No harm in asking, even if he probably doesn't know.' He reasoned. He was backing away towards the door, and he stopped at the entrance, his hand on the metal frame.

"Hey, Coran, have you seen Lance at all? We haven't seen him in a while, and it's worrying me a little... Coran?" Keith asked, his tension returning to him like a raging bull as he watched Coran swiftly turn his head away from Keith, so that the younger couldn't see his face. "Coran- what's-"

"No, I-I haven't seen him in a few days... wish I could help you, Keith." Coran straightened his shoulders and went back to tapping on the control panel's holographic screen. Keith didn't miss the hand that went up to his face for a brief moment, as if to wipe something from his cheek, before it went back to work. "T-tell him to come see me if you find him."

Keith's heart pounded. He gripped the door frame until his knuckles went white, and his eyes stared into space.

The sinking feeling in his chest returned. His lungs felt like they were full of lead, his feet feeling like they were chained to the ground.

He fought against the heavy, trapping feeling and darted from the room, his footsteps pounding against the metal floors as he raced past the common area, past the kitchens, ignoring Hunk's startled call, past the Control Room.

Each footstep resounded as a heartbeat in his ears as he reached his destination. He skidded to a halt in front of the former Blue Paladin's door and barely paused to take in a few gasping breaths before he pounded his fist against the metal. "Lance! Lance, open up, tall-ass!" He slammed his fist against the door until his fist went numb. In a last resort attempt, he placed his hand on the access system, praying it hadn't been locked against the others, but knowing it probably had been.

The door slid open easily, and Keith felt the tears gathering in his throat rather than his eyes. He choked back a small noise that might have been 'Lance' as he took in the spotless, empty room. No clothes, no knickknacks or face products.

He didn't waste any time. He left the room, trying to bite back the tears that had made their way to his eyes as he bolted for the hangars. He heard Shiro call out to him, but he ignored him. He reached the hangars and headed for the escape pod bay, rather than the Lion's bay. One look told him everything he needed to know. An escape pod was missing, one that had been there not two weeks before when they had been documenting the Castleship's information.

Keith slid to the floor, his knees not willing to hold him up. The tears were gone, replaced by a hollow sense of shock that he didn't know what to do with.

"Keith! What in the world are you running around for?!" Shiro's voice reached his ears, but he couldn't bring himself to respond. "...Keith? What's...what's going on?" He felt a hand on his shoulder, and Keith ripped his eyes away from the empty space the pod had left when he... when Lance had...

His eyes met Shiro's concerned gaze, and it began to sink in.

"Lance- Shiro, he's-" His eyes swam, and before he realized it, there was water on his face, salty, hot water that he wished could just disappear, that he wished could be there for no reason, anything would be better than-than-

"...he's gone."


	3. Él Era Hogar

He did not expect the landing to be so rough and... wet.  
He thought, maybe, that the craft would land smoothly on the beach, or on one of the small islands surrounding his home country, but no... Instead, he crashed into the water far off the shore of Cuba, undetected due to the small escape pod's cloaking mechanisms.  
That was probably the most terrifying part of the fairly short journey home; barely making it out of the craft before it sank into the depths. It was dusk, and he began worrying that maybe this had been a waste of time... he was going to die here, in the ocean, without anyone ever knowing where he was... until, of course, he spotted a Coast Guard ship not too far off. They heard his calls and sped over to get him.  
It was easier than he thought, making something up to tell the Coast Guard. He said he'd been paddle-boarding, and a riptide had pulled him out after he'd lost his board. Believable enough, it wasn't the first time it had happened... well, maybe the "fully clothed" part was odd, but not way too out of the ordinary.  
They draped a shock blanket over his shoulders, even though he knew he wasn't "in shock". They steered them into shore, and Lance assured them that he was fine, and that his home wasn't too far away, and that " _Si, si, estoy bien, muchas gracias._ "  
It only took a little while to figure out where he was. He remembered this hotel, the rundown _Playa Caleta_ , only a ten minute drive from _Playa Varadero_... and from there...  
A lump formed in Lance's throat as he stood on the street, his clothes damp, his hair sticky with salt.  
Never mind the crash... facing his family was going to be the most terrifying part of the journey.  
Nevertheless, he walked down the road a bit, pondering what to do. He could walk, yes, it would take a lot longer, but he didn't have any money for a cab...  
After five minutes of trudging along the cracked pavement, Lance sighed. He was too tired for this. The trip back had taken it out of him, and the treading-water he'd done had used up almost every bit of energy that had remained.  
Giving up, Lance walked to the first designated hitchhiking spot he found, then waited. Just in case, he stuck out his thumb. He wondered how stupid he looked, but he wanted to get home too bad to take any chances.  
Luck was on his side that evening, it seemed. A local cop was driving by, and- due to the rule that government vehicles had to stop for hitchhikers if there was space- pulled over with a smile and a friendly wave that Lance realized he had desperately needed. At least the young looking cop didn't recognize him as the young boy who had disappeared from the Garrison so many years before. He got into the passenger's seat and thanked the cop, telling him his address and telling him that his family couldn't pick him up.  
Lance must have nodded off against the car door, because before he knew it, his shoulder was being gently shaken.  
" _Hemos llegado_." The cop said kindly. Lance blinked a couple times, then thanked him before getting out of the car. At the sight of his old house, he tripped and almost fell onto the sandy asphalt of the driveway. He assured the officer that he was fine, and thanked him again before the man backed out of the drive and disappeared down the road.  
Lance stood -frozen- in the driveway, looking up at the house. His hands trembled. He could see a few lights on, one of them being the dining room lights. Shadows flickered across the dark ground outside. Obviously, none of the inhabitants had noticed the car pulling into the drive, and if it was anything like Lance remembered, it was because the room at dinner was always loud and busy with voices and laughter.  
Lance's eyes teared up, and a sob ripped it's way out of his throat. He crumpled to his knees, holding a hand to his mouth.  
Was his family even still here?! Was this just a new family? If it was his family, did they remember him? It had been so long, surely they had moved on... or, maybe they thought he was dead... he might as well have been, he literally disappeared off the face of the earth!  
He sat there a moment, fighting back the tears, and rubbed furiously at his eyes. He took a deep breath and pushed himself to his feet. There was no use sitting around on the rocky driveway, waiting for something to happen.  
He forced his tired, shaking legs to move, and he walked up to the front door. He fussed with his clothing, trying to make it a little more presentable... as if that even mattered.  
He stood there for a full two minutes, then steeled himself and looked at the mailbox next to the house number, ready to see the family name... ready to see if it really was his family.  
His eyes flooded with tears again, and he gave a watery laugh out of shock and relief.  
 _Álvarez_  
Sure, it was a common surname, but what were the chances?  
Lance swallowed against the tears and the new lump in his throat, and raised his fist. He hesitated, then slammed his eyes shut.  
He knocked.  
Nothing.  
He sighed, then raised his hand again. Of course, that had been way too quiet, they wouldn't have been able to hear that over the sounds of the dinner.  
He knocked again, louder this time, making sure it was loud enough to hear.  
He dropped his hand and waited, keeping his eyes shut. He didn't want to see any faces yet, he couldn't do it, he couldn't-  
" _¡Por favor! ¿Podrías callarte durante dos segundos? Tenemos un-_ "  
Lance sucked in a breath at the familiar voice, and silence hung over him like a heavy, suffocating blanket... he swore, he felt like he was back in space, surrounded by the silent, endless vacuum.  
"...Lance?"  
The world went absolutely still. The silence spread to the house, where the sounds from dinner hushed immediately. Lance could hear the waves not far off.  
A tear slipped down his cheek, but he didn't open his eyes yet.  
" _...Hola, Mamá_." He whispered, his voice cracking pitifully. He took in a deep breath and opened his eyes, taking in the person in front of him.  
Just the same as he remembered. Short, strong, weathered, pale-tan skin, wavy black hair pulled back into a messy bun to keep it out of the way when she cooked. Her blue eyes were wide and disbelieving, with just a small shine to indicate that there were any tears.  
Lance's lips curled a little into the smallest smile he could ever make, and he laughed softly. " _Estoy en casa...?_ " He tried, attempting to put a little of his old humour into his voice.  
The rest of the evening faded into a blur after his mother's arms wrapped around his thin waist and pulled him close.  
The laughter, the crying, the smiles and questions, Lance could barely remember any of it, but it ultimately didn't matter.  
It was early that morning when his mother finally ushered the others to bed, seeing that Lance was tired and obviously overwhelmed by the loud, energetic group, but Lance didn't mind.

Honestly, he could have fallen asleep anywhere, but his mother brought him upstairs to his old room, which she had left untouched. The thought brought tears to Lance's eyes, but they were quickly wiped away when his mother scolded him lightheartedly, telling him that there would be too much crying to come to be wasting the tears then.  
That was where Lance was now, laying on his bed, his tongue still remembering the taste of the first earth food he'd had in years, his head a little foggy with the few celebratory glasses of wine his father had shared with him, and his lips tilted in a small, contented smile.  
His heart felt better than it had in ages. The pit in his stomach was filled, the weight from his lungs lifted.  
But, laying in bed, surrounded by the dark and the quiet...  
He felt like...  
Something was still missing.  
Lance frowned into the blackness, trying to think of what it was, before giving up and shrugging.  
Whatever it was, it could wait...  
Because now, nothing else mattered, except that he...  
He was home.  
He was _home_.  
One last tear dripped from the tip of his nose, and he smiled at his old- no, not _old_ anything, just his room.  
 _Él estaba en casa._


End file.
